What Can We Use Instead Of Rizla

Why a hospital stay even worse

The words that come to eat me, me, and yet I'm still there. The words do not come from me, eat me, and I still am there.

The nature of the sentence I've stolen by Herta Muller, the new professor of poetry at the University of Zurich. Words can hurt as genuine burn shock, such as syringes in battered legs. In fact, their words are true significance in a comparison, in something else. You are others for this.

two weeks in hospital.

ins X-ray, I was rolled up - in bed, mind you, where I was for 13 days now. A lady came to you, so at first glance, can well imagine behind a booth at the vegetable market ( "vegetable condition" called in fact the state of brain dead, which I was again closer than they). "Mrs. Isak, Si chönnd uufstoh" - I'll make big eyes and Japs "uh, no ..." - and then there is smooth, "Why nöd" - Indeed, the sensitivity of a forklift driver. I fuchtle ataxic with my arms and since you seem to dawn was. My father said later, I should have said but I was dead drunk and could never be level. But the inclined reader knows what a creep I am for and what I let myself think of anything to annoy innocent people. For example, I'm out of pure malice not from the hospital bed - or write a text in the blog.

Between seven and half past 12 different people in my room. Single, although I am only generally insured. Pure logistics would not help. With my wheelchair, I still do not come in "my" toilet Kabinchen (by the way there * is * here * not * a wheelchair-toilet -! Yes yes in a hospital). Stranger People see me sitting on the commode. A nurse washes my left, my right armpit B nurse. Telefongeklingel, door, door to, now even a man bring Needless to tea when I am topless. As he looks not . And like all but look as if I had selected some clothes, were sitting in a Hotelfauteuil, would be quite competent. - So what did I really? I look at the image border crossings, which are slipped on the übelstnotwendigen, just a? I'm no longer in my body. This die. Confused, ashamed, my soul has mercy on my body.

All smiles. This is the worst. Do not smile is also terrible.

I need wordlessness and absence in the morning.

A Schangli accompanied me to an investigation. The senior doctor takes Schanglis not true. Schanglis are down, senior doctors above. Hierarchy. The head doctor brings my back in order. Schangli praises my straight driving. - I studied times, had an academic title. Serb or a Croat or Slovenian praise me now, in broken German, that I do not thunder in the door frame. Shall I praise him for how well he can put one foot before the other? Do not I'm not rude. Nurse C praised me this morning for standing ability (= hanging over the edge of the bed). Very nice, honest. Should I back praising how good can they speak normally? 'm Not absurd. - But she liked it just fine. So I must be bad , then when I have such bad thoughts and feelings. Children think that way. I'm helpless as a child. Monstrous, her well-meaning so totally offensive (to me that is inflicting any harm) to feel. Disabled and poor. Innocent and sweet. Smiling and absurd. Friendly and offensive. Perspectives shimmer. Ethics feixtanzt.

" dignity"? Here probably the third subjunctive Person Sg (singular, not Sankt Gallen) of "will".

comes from the study area is very central European looking woman. She approaches uncomfortably close, and kaudelwelscht "You can wait a moment?" your facial muscles to chew the words. I stumble. "you here for?" Now I ask her if she was Swiss. This time she is to supported. Yes but "wärumm?". Why then so funny talking about? "Aaaahahahahihihi wüssed you I ha gmeint Si verstönnd nöd me! Jo jo and severally for all Keis Probleeem " - I am speaking slowly and softly, to formulate the sentence you have just * know *, not mine! - To know something like this, one must ask of course before, but sottige-like-me does not ask you, either before or when otherwise. They cared for benevolently. Gälledsi. And again I am the childlike monster ... Soon I can indistinguishable, which questions the lady is the investigation into and those based on curiosity. Who's talking about compassion? Someone said, "Compassion"? This should be sympathy? * * Take one part would be about to go to the theater with me, because it is also interested in what is played on the stage. It would definitely be something active. Not only mouthed chant. After a pause she burst out with "I ha as in the case eckei Verbaarme, gälledsi guet, Verbaarme severally nöd" Since I prefer a doctor who says anything anyway, after I had mentioned the genetic grotesque , my hand in his funny awkward two takes and dark looks and I wish all the best.

Tonight at 12, I was relocated. At home I do not need to be moved because my bed is wide and I can roll in peace at night. The door to my room does not open, no, the night nurse comes into the room with the door. RRRPENG. Sometime after the lady understood that I do not talk to her like, the door - not closed, but geschlenzt. At 2 RRRPENG again. The blanket is lifted, it attracts a purely cold, it is determined whether my heels are red. AS IF THE WOULD IN THE DARK TO SEE. I am 44 years young and still Lenze never had red heels. Here you control the twice per night. From 2 so I can never sleep. I even have to ring, because now my feet are covered. Madame can not even cover that is correct. I'm amazed at how loud I can talk. She should not have come a second time, only, only when I ring. You do not want. She is afraid. I lie in bed, light shines into the room from the corridor ( not the light of grace), the lady is torn between her duty and my desire. 20 minutes later she comes again to get the teapot, which would otherwise be taken by 6. The is not taken at 6, it is a put. Since then zuzelt and ploppt it in my room. At 7 brings a Greek woman a chair, which serves me for two weeks as a coat rack, and fights his way gently through Nachttischli, Rolli, Tischli, nor a chair, cable. Around 9 a Tamil will bring him back. 9.15 bring my two young women roll. The cleaning lady is likely to be Indian, she comes Only in this way by 10 After this visit, which got me in the wash. Under this regime, two students watch as my nurse X helps with the slide board.

I can not help it. They are all really nice, but there are just too many. One can not help it. You could help me but if you are not such a terrible Monstrous billowing out of my existence. "Is just everyday hospital" whisper I hear. "Okay," I whisper back, "and I think he's still awful ..."

A snowflake yesterday on my cheek. S adds to her sister "if you please" or "You're welcome" one.

The desire of a friend came true. As proved to be a truly a Christmas angel ... Well, actually four. Five. Some nurses were wonderful assistants, and the young physiotherapist. If the button is strange once released and the band people with more familiarity is smooth, everything is normal. Specifically dependent, but normal. This contradiction can be lived.

why I do not want the hospital / in rehab (apart from the immediate physical cause): say

• In an entry has to my companion once the attending medical professionals, we would like but finish your beautiful each can , I do not interrupt me and not take the words out of mouth, certainly not lying if they do not there (eg my unfinished sentences end as it is felt like, they stop, but I meant to say something different). Later I will always Have to repeat because impatience and "expertise" are simply too big (but it's all so my only good).

• I will totally underestimated mentally, that is: considered silly. And I'm the one that hardly takes intellectual partner.

• Physically I am wrong one, often underestimated: What I can do by themselves, may / should I but numerical wänn öpper do debii severally .

• I can not sleep in peace, and then only because it has given its blessing to the doctor (like just about everything). It is the same old story of paternalism. My word has no honor. can

• my rhythm I do not live.

• I'm just not a lot, but much much much much much more gainful than in my own home and have much much much much much much more help than at home. With the very very very adverse, the "professional" Helping. My assistants are not there!

• around me are incredibly many people. I personally can not stand it.

• Kafka is not there. Kafka and I was not there.

• The bed is too small.

• I have to take a huge organization to me in advance: information assistants / therapists / doctors / friends to coordinate care Kafka, move dates and so on and so forth.

• to stay in hospital I, because I'm sick. Then comes the recovery and with it the point where the hospital makes me sick! A further recovery would be at home easily conceivable (for example, would be if the physical therapist or physical therapist home). It is a Balancing act and it is not acceptable that I, the Sense this point to signal him so much I want - it must be approved by a foreign person (the doctor or the doctor). Were perhaps the BSV worth a few considerations, is not it, keyword cost savings in health care ...

• What does relieve ourselves for someone who can not walk, is for people who can not go (such as neurologists), completely unimaginable. The most complete shame here is the honor (even when angels 2 " the" every day doing umpteen times help here .. .). Wheelchair toilets - if they exist - are for me never manageable - seat too low, too high, toilet paper in stupider distance, handrails beyond conceivability, not rest and so on and so on, the idiocy of the designers are no limits. also in rehabilitation centers. also in hospitals.

• I'm just generally insured. In a 1-room already considered all the above points. In a 4-room I've not a single second's rest!

I am extremely happy that my cramps are gone, that I know what I have to change everything and to observe, and how can I deal with such cases in the case of the mischief of my physique.